Dealing With OMIF Syndrome

Those of use who suffer with any type of a disability (and many of those who do not) have at some point in our life come into contact with someone who suffers from OMIF (Open Mouth Insert Foot) Syndrome. 

An encounter with people inflicted with the OMIF  Syndrome often has more of an adverse affect on us than it does them.  The most detrimental side effect is that it is known to rapidly induce stress, raise the blood pressure and trigger the "Flight or Fight" response in us. It is highly recommended that you avoid  exposure to this injurious contaminate.  Within minutes of coming in contact with this negativity you must be prepared to flee from them or firmly plant your feet and stand your ground. The difficulty lies in being able to recognize these people prior to exposure. 

How to Recognize the OMIF Syndrome in others:

•  Hostile and Antagonistic - They usually turn conversations into an inquisition. It quickly becomes a severe questioning, or more of an investigation, conducted with very little regard for the individual rights of others.
•  Lacks Empathy - Displays a warped view or lack of understanding for the other persons condition or disability.
• Opinionated - Rapidly, and usually erroneously, makes their own diagnosis of another persons condition, or lack of one as they decide the case may be.
• Verbally Abusive- Insensitively states their own offensive opinion to the person with a chronic illness or a disability, and then goes about announcing their negative opinion of it to others behind your back knowing and not caring that it will get back to you.
• Lack of Compassion- Being blessed with good health they show a lack of compassion to others who have not been that fortunate.
• Judgmental- Feels they have the right to judge you and make statements on how you need to "snap out of it" because it's not real, it's just in all in your mind.

Just recently I had a personal encounter with a "friend" and simply by of the Grace of God (OK that and the knowledge that even as a Christian I could do jail time if I did physically "lay hands" on that person) I was able to kindly and calmly explain my personal health conditions and why it was necessary that I was and would continue to be under medical treatment for them. Which in all honesty, I must say it was really none of their business and actually quite rude of them to ask and demand an explaination. Seriously, does it make any sense that if the "Mind Over Matter" theory did work that I would have had to under go heart (pacemaker), knee and other surgery's? Do they truly believe that all Doctors could or would be talked into treating an imaginary affliction? I resent the implication of being construed as a hypochondriac. 

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked "Are you sure you're not just not depressed?" I would be a wealthy woman. Truth be told I AM depressed AFTER a conversation like this! Who wouldn't be? Besides, someone suffering from depression DOES NOT need to hear statements like this. It would be more appropriate to say "I've noticed you seem a little down today, is there anything I can do for you?" Or even "How can I help?"

If you have the misfortune of being afflicted with OMIF Syndrome allow me to take a few minutes of your time to offer you a few suggestions to aid in your own recovery:

• Speak kindness - If your words will cause pain to another, please refrain from voicing them. In the words of a wise rabbit named Thumper (in the Disney movie Bambi) "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." ~ Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law." ~ Galatians 5: 22-23 (NIV)

• Show compassion - Our lives are difficult enough, and the world is often harsh. We all need to have family and friends who are sympathetic, understanding and supportive. 

 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." ~ Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

• Chose your words wisely - Or as the saying goes "Always season your words with salt, for tomorrow you may have to eat them." Without adding seasoning or salt our food would be too bland and tasteless when consumed. Words do have the power to build up or tear down, to encourage or discourage, to help or to harm another person. How will your words be used?

 "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." ~ Colossians 4:6 (NIV)  

• Encourage and support others- Dealing with chronic pain, illness, or disabilities is discouraging as we struggle to work through our daily obstacles and stresses. Don't underestimate the value of even one encouraging word that is spoken, it may make a big impact on the one receiving it.

 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." ~ I Thessalonians 5:11  (NIV)

• Don't be judgmental - Why is it that we are so quick to assign labels and make judgement calls on others before we know them or their situation?

 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  ~ Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)

• Remember the Golden Rule:  Do unto others what you would want them to do unto you.  Picture yourself in the situation of that other person and then treat them the way you would want them to treat you.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." ~ Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

For several years I was an active member (and former President) of the Rotary Club in Grand Blanc, Michigan. At each meeting we would recite the Rotary motto called The Four Way Test.

The Four-Way Test of the things we think, say or do.

1st- Is it the truth?
2nd - Is it fair to all concerned?
3rd - Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
4th - Will it be beneficial to all concerned?


This creed is meant to be used as a code of ethics, and as a gage, or measure for us as we make our own personal decisions and choice of actions. To serve as a daily reminder for us to stop and think about how our words, actions, and even our reactions can help or harm another person. I've seen similar status messages posted on Facebook, and I am always reminded how fitting this is, if only we could all simply apply it to our personal, business and professional lives as well.

Today it seems as if society as a whole is more focused on the "me" and we forget about all  others. The daily niceties such has holding doors open for another to pass through first, saying please and thank you, and greeting others, even strangers, we encounter with a smile and a hello have been replaced with rudeness, obscene language and hand gestures as we shove others out of the way in order to get there first or faster. 

Our actions do speak louder than words. What are the lessons we are teaching our youth? For they are the future generation and will learn from our examples. 

 "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." ~ Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

So as I work daily on learning to be more intentional in showing kindness and tolerance, (especially to those with OMIF Syndrome) I ask that in return they learn to "Pay It Forward" and show the same kindness and tolerance to the rest of us. Because when you think about it all of us have some type of a disability. A disability is only what we have and not who we are!

Wishing you much kindness, open doors, warm greetings and big smiles, even from strangers, for they just might become future friends!

Blessings! :)

Once Upon A Mattress -Sleepless due to pain

In the 2005 Disney TV Movie "Once Upon A Mattress" (which is adapted from the Hans Christian Anderson story of the "Princess And The Pea") the Queen proposes a test to reveal if her son's intended is indeed a Princess. Not wanting her son to marry, the Queen places a pea under twenty mattresses to see if the so called Princess will be able to sleep. Princess Winifred has a sleepless night and complains of being black and blue, thus passing the test.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PL5D1DCB3874AD396C&v=MKNOMSbQUSE&NR=1&feature=endscreen

I may not be a real life Princess, but I have had more than my share of sleepless nights. For many of us who suffer with chronic pain our nights consist of tossing and turning and waking up feeling tired and black and blue. I have checked and I am happy to report that I did not find a pea under my mattress.

"People who suffer from chronic pain often find that their problems are compounded by the additional difficulties that come with insomnia and sleeping disorders. Of those who report experiencing chronic pain (about 15% of the general U.S. population and 50% of the elderly), approximately 65% report having sleep disorders, such as disrupted or non-restorative sleep.

The term "insomnia" includes all types of sleeping problems, such as difficulty falling asleep, staying sleep, and wakening earlier and more often than desired. Of all medical conditions, pain is the number one cause of insomnia."

Source:  http://www.spine-health.com/wellness/sleep/chronic-pain-and-insomnia-breaking-cycle
By: William W. Deardoff, PhD, ABPP


Think about your usual bed time ritual.  In getting ready for bed, it is common to try to eliminate all distractions in order to relax and begin to fall asleep. This includes quieting the room, closing the shades, turning off the lights, radio, cell phone or TV, and trying to get comfortable.

But for chronic pain sufferers these are the "pea" under the mattress, the very things that can cause us problems since the only thing left for the brain to focus on is the experience of pain. During the day (and the sleepless nights) these "distractions" are the primary pain management tools we use.  Which explains why you see me on-line or posting during the "wee" hours before dawn and catch me dozing off or napping during the day. I'm not depressed or lazy... I'm bone weary tired!

Because of the pain the quality of sleep is very light and un-refreshing. This "non-restorative" sleep pattern can and does cause lack of or diminished energy, fatigue, depressed moods, and worse pain during the day. It's a viscous cycle comparable to running in a hamster wheel burning off your all of your energy and yet not making any progress. (or losing any weight.)

Then there are the "Psychological" approaches which suggest the "mind over matter" aspect that can help to "override" or "re-balance" pain signals with more pleasant, sleep-inducing thoughts. A few of the techniques are:

• Hypnosis, which can help a patient associate certain actions with sleep such as turning off lights or closing doors and drapes. (You are getting sleepy, sleepy, nope I'm hungry. Guess it doesn't work for me)
• Visualization of something peaceful or relaxing, like clouds in a night sky, can be a good transition from the stressful day to a more restful nighttime. (I'm on a tropical beach, slathering on the sunscreen, did someone say shark?)
• Meditation or other relaxation practices that incorporate deep breathing and aim to free or compartmentalize feelings of stress in the body. (Breath in and out, in and out, in and out. Just my luck I ended up hyperventilating!)
• If worrying is a major deterrent to sleep, try “forced worrying”. Several hours before bedtime create a brief period of time (15 minutes or so) to write down worries. Then leave the room where you wrote down the worries, and if worrying recurs, remind yourself that you will have time to think about these worries tomorrow. (This one is not for me, I've learned to give all my worries to God. After all, He already knows the final outcome!)

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" ~ Luke 12:25 (NIV)

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  ~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I don't mean to discount any of the above techniques. Use what works best for you. Personally, I have found the most effective technique for me is Prayer. When we focus on praising God and praying for others it take our focus off ourselves and our pain. Besides Satan will use any means to divert our attention from God and this usually means I fall asleep...the only way to shut me up!

Those of us with chronic pain and illnesses suffer more than people see on the outside. Even as Christians we at times have lost hope, or faith. We need God help to hold us up during the daily struggles of life. 

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and to be with your forever- the Spirit in truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him or knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you."~ John 14:16-17 (NIV)

Jesus told us He would send us the Holy Spirit to be our counselor, our helper and our comforter. This is exactly what hurting people need - a counselor, a helper and a comforter.  We especially need wisdom and clarity of thought as we seek treatment and make medical decisions. He has the power to do what no person can do for themselves....bring healing miracles and cures and turn the impossibilities into possibilities!

Praying for your comfort, wisdom as you seek answers, hope for the future and healing miracles to turn your impossibilities into possibilities!

Blessings! :)

RESPECT - for those with disabilities

Arthea Franklin is well know for the song Respect. Come on and sing the lyrics: 

RESPECT
Find out what it means to me
RESPECT
Take care, T C B
Oh, a little respect
Yeah baby, I want a little respect
Now, I get tired, but I keep on trying'
Runnin' out of foolin', I ain't lyin'
Yes, respect all I need is respect

Source: http://www.metrolyrics.com/respect-lyrics-aretha-franklin.html 

We have all heard and sung the lyrics and maybe even related them to relationships we were in. I think we can all agree that every one of us wants and deserves respect; from our peers, our employers, even our families. But do we apply that same principle to others? Have we considered how that may relate to them? Especially those with chronic illness or pain, disabilities, hidden disabilities or those suffering from depression or mental illnesses.

For they are the ones that need the respect, encouragement and support the most! Often their friends, family and employers dismiss them, avoid them, or belittle them for being lazy, lying, being over dramatic or accuse them of being a hypochondriac.

For those suffering with chronic pain and illness we just assume they are suffering from depression and should just "snap out of it." Trust me, if you had to "walk a mile in their shoes" you would be depressed!

"Patients with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome have an exquisite understanding of the pain, both physical pain and emotional anguish, associated with having a poorly understood, incurable disease. "When you start hearing there is no hope, no treatment, and no cure over and over, you lose your will to fight," wrote Jan Murphy in a eulogy read at her funeral. "What most people saw of me was a shell of what was going on inside."

However, there is evidence that chronic pain and illness put patients at risk for suicide. An illness like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, which is often doubted or neglected by the medical community, the public, and sometimes family and friends, can present unique problems. Patients with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome can become victims of isolation and despair.

Secondary depression is a well-know symptom of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and is common with any type of chronic pain. Sufferers depend on a variety of sources of support, including pain management, psychological support, and financial support. When one of these essential needs remain unmet over a long periods of time, it is possible for patients to believe that their situation is hopeless.

Anyone who has suffered with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome knows that it requires a huge adjustment, not only to the illness itself but to all the consequences it has on our lives. Chronic illness is likely to affect the way sufferers live, the way they see themselves, and how they relate to others. With the present state of world events, many people are feeling additional tension, anxiety, or sadness. But suffering with severe depression may be unnecessary. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, it's essential that you know you don't have to go it alone. Suicide is preventable, and there are a variety of resources that can provide the support you need."

Source: http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/killing-me-softly-fmcfs-suicide By Lisa Lorden Myers 

I have been blessed with a great support unit of family & friends, as well as medical professionals who understand and continue to research new medicines and treatments to help to manage by health issues. I can relate to the loss of identity, isolation, limits to my activities and the financial strain that has been put on me and my family due to my chronic illness.

Often my friends, many who also share the same or similar health issues, and I have commented on how we never would be able to cope, deal with, and survive these issues without our deep abiding faith in God. It has given me a new awareness and compassion for others, as well as a deep empathy and respect for the struggles they are going through. 

Respect and understanding play a key role and can be a big factor in their daily struggle. If we each will reach out to one other person to help, encourage and support them what a miraculous affect and effective change we could make in their life, regardless of if that person was ill or healthy.

"How wonderful it is that nobody need to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." ~ Ann Frank

I challenge each and every one of you to take a closer look at those around you and make it your personal priority to respect, understand and encourage someone each day; especially those dealing with chronic illnesses. Just knowing that someone truly cares and respects them for what they are going through could make a world of difference to them. And please remember to uphold them in your prayers.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying (interceding) for all the Lord’s people." ~ Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)

To "intercede" means, "to stand in the gap on behalf of another." For example: when an attorney stands before a judge on behalf of a client, he is interceding, pleading and standing in the gap in defense of another person. This is one of the most powerful actions we can undertake for another is to "stand in the gap" for them!

Wishing you respect, good health and daily encouragement as you travel through life!

Blessings! :)

My Dog Gone Adventure

Grand-parenting isn't for sissies! When you have been entrusted with an overly active two year old for a weekend, he should come with the warning: THIS MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. Especially when you are a "grandparent" to your child's "Fur Baby" a German Shepard-Husky mix dog named Jax. (A.K.A. Houdini)

Those of you who know my daughter Katie and her friend Chris and have had the opportunity to meet or hear about the infamous Jax, you're acquainted with his rambunctious, curious nature that tends to get him into trouble. And just like human grandchildren, he tends to pull stuff with "Grama" that wouldn't be consider with his mommy in the house.  

Let me bring you up to date on a few of his past week's mischief:

• Ate a red velvet cake and greeted me at the door with the empty pan in his mouth and a happy "I cleaned my plate do I get a treat?" look on his face.
• Got into the Valentine's Day gift bags and ate a small box of chocolate candy, (box and all) a bag of yogurt covered pretzels, licked the bag of Gummy Bears (no chocolate so he didn't  bother opening it) and was working on getting into a package of Oreo cookies. (yes, he's a chocoholic)
• Devoured a plate of homemade chicken empanadas faster than you can say were's the sour cream.
• Stole a custard paczki. (pounchki) but was caught red handed (or should I saw red pawed) before he ate it.
• Hid a stash of pop-tarts (chocolate fudge) under the ottoman and behind the couch cushions. (yes, he can open the cupboard, and yes, we have put dog proof locks on them)
• Leapt our fence from a seated position to chase a squirrel in the neighbor's yard. 

Jax has terrible separation anxiety from his mommy and even knowing this, we were still caught off guard last weekend. When his mommy left, the entry door didn't close all the way. Hearing the garage door going down he used his nose to open the entry door wider, jumped on the screened door hard enough to pop it open and darted under the garage door just before it closed. 

By the time I put the door back up he was at the end of our driveway, in the road running full spend ahead chasing after their car. They didn't see him or me waving and yelling for that dog gone dog to come back here. 

Let the bad dogie games begin. I chased him, limping as fast as my bad knees allowed. He would stop and wait for me to catch up and just as soon as I reached him, he'd dart off again. I called Katie's cell and gave them the 411 and our GPS (Grama Pooch Situation) location as I continued to give chase. 

That naughty boy went 4 houses down, then ran in between my friends houses. I'm  sure it was just to embarrass me in front of my friends. Or maybe it was to ensure he had a bigger audience. He leisurely strolled along their backyard property lines while waiting for me to catch up. 

Right when I finally got close to him he noticed a section of privacy fence on the ground and darted into the yard. The house faces the next street and I do not know the owners. So here I am in the wet rain, tiptoeing over the downed fence section, fearful of falling or breaking through the wood. Then, of course the inedible happens...I slipped. I grabbed for the fence post while praying that it was more secure than the fence section was, and twisted my left leg and knee. 

Jax looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes and waited for me to limp over to him. I made the mistake of thinking he was taking pity on this Grama who was wheezing and in need of her asthma inhaler. As soon as my fingers were secure in his collar he jerked sideways taking me with him. Thank God I didn't fall completely to the ground. Instead I twisted and landed on the side of my right foot and felt intense pain.

Just then the Calvary arrived. They spotted us  coming down the side of the houses, retrieved him from me and headed back home. Jax was in "time out" on the ottoman and attached to a leash when I arrived. 

Jax slept the afternoon away while I iced and elevated my throbbing foot and knee. By Sunday morning I couldn't tolerate the pain any longer and drove myself to the Hospital ER.

The good news is that Jax is none the worst for wear. The bad news is that Grama is! A stress fracture to my right foot and a torn ligament in my left knee. I can't use crutches so I have a lopsided limp. (Weebles wrobble, but they don't fall down!)

Just let me go on record as saying that Jax and Grama did not have an excellent adventure!

Wishing your a safe journey through life!

Blessings! :)

My Achy, Breaky Heart

Billy Ray Cyrus, the country music singer, songwriter, actor and philanthropist, is best known for his 1992 Number One single "Achy Breaky Heart",  We sang (or twanged) along with his song on the radio and many of us even Country line danced to it.

In 2005  the phrase "Achy, Breaky Heart" took on a whole new meaning for me after a  trip to the Hospital Emergency Room for what I thought was an Asthma attack.  A chest x-ray revealed an enlarged heart and some fluid build-up in my lungs. Added to that was a very low heart rate,  irregular heartbeats and an abnormal EKG. This ensured my admittance to the cardiac unit for observation and additional testing.

The next morning around 5 am "Waltzing Matilda" (my IV pole) and I made the short trip from the bed to the bathroom. Feeling weird and fearful of fainting I pulled the nurse call light.  Her response was immediate, as she had already been on her way into my room to check on me. As she walked me back to my bed she explained that the monitor had showed several pauses between my heartbeats. As I sat down on the bed I broke out in a cold sweat and then blacked out.

They say the hearing is the last thing to go, and for me it was also the first thing to return. I heard a discussion taking place about whether or not it should be charted as a "code blue" as the crash cart paddles weren't used. The male voice at my side stated that "she was already turning blue when I arrived." (My first conscious thought was "so that's why it's called a code blue.") He continued, "she was gone for 3 to 4 minutes. I gave her an injection of epinephrine and she's coming around now."

Opening my eyes I saw a sea of people. (Have I died and gone to Singles heaven?) Then I noticed that they were all dressed in scrubs and crowded into my hospital room. The lone figure dressed in white and standing on my right hand side was a Doctor.  I was informed that I needed a pacemaker (I was 49 years old) and was headed right into surgery.

As I was being prepped for surgery I recalled the following verse:

          "O my son, (daughter) give me your heart." ~ Proverbs 23:26a (NLT)

I was reminded that God, our great physician and healer, can mend a broken heart if we will only give Him all the pieces. Without a doubt I know that God's hand was upon me that day and being at the hospital literally saved my earthly life. I was given a second chance at life.

God is the God of second chances and He willingly offers each of us a chance for a new life in Christ.

"Jesus told him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." ~ John 14:6 (NLT)

This means that Jesus Christ is the author and giver of life, natural, spiritual, and eternal. He is the way of life, or "the living way." Jesus paid the penalty for our sins so we are perfect (worthy) in God's sight.

What's the condition of your heart? Won't your give God all the broken pieces and places so He can make it new?

Wishing you healing for your Achy Breaky Heart and a New Life in and through Jesus Christ.

Blessings! :) 

My Funny Valentine!

In January I wrote "I Haven't The Foggiest Idea" about "Fibro Fog" or "Brain Fog" as it is often called. My friend Patty who has MS posted the following comment: 

"I can so relate to this brain fog stuff. People with MS get it also, in varying degrees. Sometimes it is scary. What I started doing when I just could not think of the word was to start describing it and within 15 seconds or so I would remember the word. My husband, who also has MS, and my 89 year old mom both get brain fog so I've got them doing the same thing. If you just start talking about (describing) the thing that you cannot get the right word for, VOILA! the right word just appears (sooner than later). It's very silly, but it works!"

We joked that it was like the  game"Words With Friends" Brain Fog edition.  Since then  I have tried Patty's memory trick and found it to be quite successful for me most of the time. So I thought of my friend Patty when I saw a Valentine's Day card that read: 

"Me forget to send you a valentine? Ridiculous!! 

Why I have a memory like a....like a.....

You know....like one of those big gray animals with the long funny nose!"

So now are you wondering if it is true that elephants never forget? Since inquiring minds want to know, I Googled it. The answer is...YES.

"When it comes to smarts, elephants are right up there with dolphins, apes and humans, says WCS cognitive scientist Diana Reiss and colleagues at Emory University in Atlanta. They reported in 2006 in the proceeding of the Natural Academy of Sciences USA that elephants, like the other mammals in that exclusive circle, are the only animals known to recognize their reflections in a mirror."

Remarkable recall power, researchers believe, is a big part of how elephants survive. Matriarch (female head of the herd) elephants, in particular, hold a store of social knowledge that their families can scarcely do without, according to research conducted on elephants at Amboseli Nation Park in Kenya.

Source: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=elephants-never-forget&page=2

So the next time someone says that you have a memory like an elephant, take it as a compliment!

Wishing you a memory like an elephant, and many pleasant memories to reflect on!

Blessings! :)

Help I've Fallen and I can't Get Up!

Living in Michigan we're accustom to dealing with weather issues, even the issues of heavy snowstorms. As much as I loved the snow as a child, now that I'm an adult it's become more of a love-hate relationship. Especially for those of us who occasionally (OK more than occasionally and less than all the time) have mobility issues.

We've all seen the TV commercial where an elderly person slips and falls either in their kitchen or bathroom and yells: "Help I've fallen and I can't get up!" Someone always comes to their rescue and then they purchase the necklace for a help line service. I'm not THAT old and never gave much thought about purchasing one my for myself at this stage in my life. Then Murphy paid me a visit.

You've heard the adage that says: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." While I don't know exactly who this Murphy Law is, I'm sure he must be a relative of mine. My mother quoted him for years and that crap happened (and still does) to us all the time. (Drat my Irish heritage!!!)

For example: My daughter and I had gone out together. When we got home I pulled into the driveway and she jumped out and headed into the house. I got out of the car, turned to shut the door and BAM! You guessed it, I fell backward into the very large snowbank at the side of the driveway.

My purse and the cell phone it contained went in one direction and I went the other. I leaned sideways to try to reach it and my glove less hand broke through the ice crusted snow up to my elbow. ( No, I don't know why I had left them in the car) I then rolled sideways trying to reach it, and broke deeper into the snow. What I was thinking? Or more accurately not thinking, because now I  am laying  in the snowbank and of course the purse is still just out of my reach.

Then I moved to get onto my knees, another dumb idea. Intense pain in both knees and now the front of my jeans are wet. I yelled: "Help I've fallen and I can't get up!" Then just as Uncle Murphy Law predicted, no one heard me or came to my aid. Although I'm sure that a few cars did slow down,  look, point and were laughing as they drove by.

So what could I do? I  returned to my former sitting position with my bottom in the snowbank and my feet still under the car. As much as I was tempted to cry out of the sheer frustration of my peril, my brain kicked in to remind me that it was cold enough, and with my wonderful luck, my tears would probably freeze!

I sent up a prayer for rescue knowing it would probably lead to more embarrassment on my part. Then, when all else fails, try doing something else. So I pulled my legs out from under the car and up close to me. Then I scooted on my bottom until I was close enough to touch the car. I reached up, grabbed the door handle, which thankfully I had locked the doors, and pulled myself up. I  got my footing, gathered up my purse and would have done the same with my dignity had there been any left.

I stomped into the house madder than a wet hornet, which technically I did resembled at that moment. My daughter was coming down the stairs and asked what took me so long. Hearing a long silence pause on my part, which is very unusual for me, she looked my way. Then she noticed that I was wet from head to toe and she broke out in a fit of laughter. So what's a mother to do? Using much self-restraint on my part to not cause her bodily harm, I started laughing too. It got funnier the more I described my icy adventure to her.

Deja Vu of my childhood kicked in as I peeled off the wet layers of clothing. Thankfully I didn't have to depend on sitting over a heat duct to get warm as I used to do. Instead I turned on my electric throw, sat in my favorite chair by the fireplace and waited to thaw out. As the cold subsided and the warmth returned to by body, I couldn't help but wonder what it would costs for one of those pendent necklaces after all.

Wishing you warmth when the days are cold, wisdom when you fall into the snowbanks of life, and someone to come to your aid with a helpful hand. Always remember to live, love, laugh, and watch out for Murphy Law.....he can be a difficult one!

Blessings! :)

Lo$ing It

Do you know what the hardest part of living with a disability for me is? 
It's losing it! With the "IT" being money. For me personally it means trying to maintain my home and support myself and my family on a third of the income I made when I was able to work.

Based on the people I know, the average Social Security Disability Income (SSDI)  appears to be a meager sum of $12,500. a year. (Equal to my income in 1977 when I 20, single and still living with my parents) That income sum is much the same for many of the elderly who are on Social Security.

Were you aware that in order to receive your disability benefits here in the United States you have to be unable to work for a full year. (usually without a source of income) Since this is not something we plan to happen to us, there is not an abundance of money stockpiled to carry us through.

Then comes the "Snowball Effect Syndrome". The symptoms begin when expenses and bills roll into one ball and start rolling down the hill at full throttle speed. As it gains momentum it continues to multiple in size until it is overwhelming. Next comes the side effects, stress, anxiety and often depression.

The Social Security Disability process takes about three years and your first application is normally denied. You'll need an attorney who specializes in Social Security Disability to submit the necessary documentation for you. The attorney is paid by Social Security when your case is complete. The maximum fee the Attorney could charge was $6,000. in 2010  

When you receive your back payment it is for the last two of the three years, but the prorated method doesn't equal the full two years income. Attorney fees are also deducted from it before you are paid. By the time the over due bills are paid up, there isn't a surplus left to help you to rebuild your lost Savings, Bank Accounts and the IRA's that were cashed in to support your family while you waited.

According to the 2010 US Census that was published in 2011 9.5 percent (8.8 million people) of households aged 18 to 64 reported having a disability. The median income of these households was $25,550 in 2010, compared to a median income of $56,736. for a household  that did not report a disability. Real median income declined for both types of households between 2009 and 2010. The income of households maintained by a householder with a disability declined by 8.5 percent, compared with a 2.1 percent decline for households maintain by a householder without a disability. 

The number of people in poverty in 2010 (46.2 million) is the largest number in the 52 years for which poverty estimates have been published. 

Source: http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p60-239.pdf

Ironically, I did not see income figures based on a female head of household with a disability. Although it was noted that females did make less and therefore received less in Social Security Disability benefits. For elderly females on Social Security the income levels would also be low based on many who didn't work or worked for lesser incomes than men. Then they could chose to  received their Social Security benefits or half of their husband, based on whichever was the larger amount of the two. For those that remarried, they could only draw half of their new husbands benefits, even if it was lesser than what they drew based on a former deceased husband.  

I started working in high school as a co-op student making $1.75 an hour. I've worked most of my life, except for about 5 years that I was a stay-at-home mom. Even then I worked as a Welcome Wagon Hostess, and a Realtor. Next came Interior Design and Furniture Sales and then I worked as a Mortgage Originator (but not all at the same time) because these were all jobs I could work around my family's schedule. This was very necessary, especially after a divorce when I instantly became a single mom of two. I could not have survived this without the help and support of my parents. They were retired and would help me by getting the children from the bus stop and watching them until I got home from work.

It infuriates me to think of all the years I've worked and paid into Social Security and then when it is desperately needed by me, I reap so little in return. ( it's my money and I want it now!) I  get angry just thinking about all that I've lost because of chronic illness and my disabilities. Then I remember to dwell on the positives of my life. Knowing God can turn those negatives into positives  if we'll ask him for His help.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28 (NLT)

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:19 (NLT) 

God has supplied my every need and often in such creative ways. Like receiving a refund check in the mail for the exact amount I needed to pay a bill. Or the time we returned all the empty pop cans and had enough to cover our grocery bill. (God IS in the details!)

"Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." ~ Psalms 24:14 (NLT)

I still haven't mastered the patient part, nor am I always brave and courageous. But I have learned to wait on the Lord, for His timing is always perfect.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

When I have panicked and rushed into doing something, (anything) trying to fix it all immediately on my own, it hasn't worked as well as I had thought it would. But instead, if I took the time to pray, read the Bible and seek God through his word, and then apply the "let go and let God" theory, he had the perfect solution. Often it was as simple as meeting someone who had information for resources that I needed and didn't know how to go about applying for. Or connecting me with a support group that nurtured me, encouraged me and guided me through the hurt and into the healing of them.

My life may not be perfect, or easy, but God has carried me through the difficult times and has comforted me when I felt so helpless and afraid. I try to seek out those who are dealing with similar issues and "pay it forward" by helping and encouraging them. For when we focus on others and their problems, ours don't seem so bad.

Wishing you joy for the journey, comfort in your distress and hope for the future!

Blessings! :)

Dancing In Concrete Shoes

Before the television series "Dancing With The Stars", we watched musicals. "Singing In the Rain" (1952) was a musical/comedy with Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds, Donald O'Conner and Jean Hagen. It made you want to run outdoors during a rainstorm and splash and dance through the street (without the fear of falling on your bottom or getting hit by a car) Or little Shirley Temple tap dancing her way into our hearts in "The Little Princess" (1939),  "Fort Apache" (1948), and "Heidi" (1937). Then came Elvis Presley in "Love Me Tender" (1956) singing and "gyrating" in movies. (I'm not that old, we watched reruns) And how can we forget "Saturday Night Fever" (1977 and it was rated-R) or "Grease" (1978) with John Travoltra? 

When we weren't gathered around the one (yes just one) TV set in the house, we'd retreat to our rooms and put on our 45 records and sing and dance along. I lived in Michigan and must admit I grew up with the Motown magic of the Supreme's and the Temptation's. I really miss the days when we were "Footloose" (1984) and fancy free! (pun intended)

These days it's more like I'm dancing in cement shoes, or at least that is what it feels like when the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flares up. Every movement is an effort that causes me pain. Even if I could kick up my leg or attempt to leap, I would be a jumbled heap on the floor (and in bed for many days afterward). My children would indulge in their version of "Humor Therapy" (also known as hysterical laughter). This wouldn't allow them the opportunity to help me up, as they would be too busy pointing, laughing and making a video for youtube (now you understand why some animals eat their young!)

What really gets on my last nerve (irks me) is when someone asks what is wrong with me and when I say it's Chronic Fatigue Syndrome they reply: "I know just what you mean, I come home from work exhausted too". Lucky for them that I suffer from "Fibro Fog", or I'd so give them a piece of my mind! So instead, here is a brief educational commercial:

What is the difference between Fatigue, Chronic Fatigue and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?

Fatigue is one of the most common complaints that doctors hear. Fatigue is usually caused by stress, lack of sleep, overexertion or a minor illness such as a cold or the flu. Typically, fatigue goes away once you are rested or recover from being sick.

Chronic Fatigue means that you have exhaustion or lack of energy lasting for six moths or longer. Chronic Fatigue is generally a symptom of something else, such as: infection, depression, endocrine diseases (hypothyroidism), muscle or nerve diseases (MS) or immune or autoimmune disorders (lupus, rheumatoid arthritis).

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is an extreme, persistent, constant fatigue that lasts longer than six months. It makes it difficult and sometimes impossible to function at even the most basic level. To be diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome you also have to have at least four or more of the following symptoms for more than 6 months that began after the fatigue:

• Impaired memory or concentration
• Post-exertional malaise (extreme exhausted & sickness following physical or mental activity)
• Unrefreshed sleep, sleep disorders (Sleep Apnea) or lack of ongoing sleep
• Muscle pain
• Joint pain without swelling or redness
• Headaches of a new type or severity
• Sore throat that is frequent or reoccurring
• Tender cervical or axillary lymph nodes
• Fibromyalgia
• Nutritional deficiency (for me it's potassium, vitamin D, B & B-12 that I deplete)
• High stress levels

In addition to these diagnostic criteria, there are about 50 more recognized symptoms, including dizziness and balance problems (I'm guilty of walking and bumping into the person walking next to me), allergies, chemical sensitives, anxiety, stiffness, numbness and irregular heart beat. (I have a pacemaker) While not all of these symptoms are required for a diagnosis, they can help your doctor to identify what is going on in your body.

There is not a diagnostic test that can accurately detect Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The condition is not curable, and so far the FDA has no medications that are approved solely for the treatment of it.
 Source of information: http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/whatischronicfatigue/a/cf_vs_cfs.htm 

Dance is a type of art that generally involves rhythmic movement of the body to music. In many cultures it is performed as a form of emotional expression, social interaction,  exercise, in a spiritual or performance setting or used to express ideas and tell a story.

I still dream of dancing in the Ginger Rogers and Fred Astair style with the graceful movements, your partner waltzing you across the floor, without even breaking a sweat. (and I have a dancers body, grace and of course a beautiful formal gown, and my make-up and hair professionally done. Hey, I can dream big!)  Life often mimics dance. Sometimes you are out of step, sometimes it hard to learn, sometimes it's really easy, and sometimes you are the one dancing backward while someone else takes the lead.
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"Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward." ~ Soren Kirkegaard

Thought for the day:
"Dance like no one is watching. Love like you've never been hurt. Sing like no one is listening. Live like it's heaven on earth." ~ William Purkey

Remember, life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning to dance in the rain (even if you are dancing in concrete shoes!)

Wishing you the strength to dance, love that is returned, a song in your heart and a slice of heaven on earth!

Blessings! :)

Road Runner or Coyote?

Growing up, one of the Saturday morning cartoons I watched was the Looney Tunes' Road Runner show. Road Runner was always running down the road while being chased by Wile E. Coyote. We never heard a complaint out of  the Road Runner. Probably due to the self-confidence that came in knowing he could out run his predator, regardless of what road he was on. He never spoke other than "Beep Beep", which to me denoted his happiness. He was a winner, and victory was always his! "Beep Beep".

For many years I could relate to the Road Runner. I was on the road to my future and happiness was the goal. Engaged, "Beep Beep". Married, "Beep Beep". New home, "Beep Beep". Children, "Beep Beep". New job, "Beep Beep". During the next 18 years there were some bumps in the road of life, but that was to be expected and they were not long-term, "Beep Beep".

Then in 1995, everything changed. My identity took on a persona more like that of Wile E. Coyote. In my pursuit of the elusive blue bird of happiness (Road Runner) I was now on the wrong side of luck. (picture the Coyote holding up his help sign).

"The test results showed some irregularities" (anvil drops), SPLAT! "It appears to be cancer" (safe drops), SPLAT! "We need to schedule surgery as soon as possible" (piano drops), SPLAT! "Your husband has filed for divorce" (dynamite blast), SPLAT! Suddenly the bottom fell out of my world. Just like Wile E. Coyote, I found myself in a free fall. Totally helpless to stop the pull of gravity and awaiting my impending doom (long pause). There was nothing that I could do other than to close my eyes and wait for the final SPLAT!

In my despair, I cried out to God. "Why me Lord? What have I done to deserve this? What do I do now?"
Through the tears, and in spite of the anger and hurt I knew there where still options.  I could:   a) Become the Road Runner or b) remain the Coyote.

As Road Runner I could:

• Stay on the road and set my eyes on the goal.
• Carry out the duty of outsmarting the hungry scavenger.
• Have courage and confidence in knowing that I can out run the problems which try to devour me.
• No dialogue of complaint, but the "Beep Beep" of happiness and praise.
• Pause to see and enjoy the beauty around me.
• Trust my creator, knowing I am safe in His hands.

"Choose you this day whom ye will serve...but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord". ~ Joshua  24: 15

As Wile E. Coyote I could:

• Continue to chase the Road Runner knowing it's a hopeless pursuit and driven only by my hunger.
• No dialogue except yowling in pain.
• Hear only the "Beep Beep" of fear.
• Be my own worst enemy; remember no outside force harmed the Coyote except his own ineptitude, and the  misuse and failure of the ACME products.
• Keep using the useless ACME products simply because (holds up sign) "I have a good line of credit".
• Realize that the coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures, but that in real life this isn't always true. I can be harmed.
• Stop any time; unless I am a fanatic."A fanatic is one who redoubles his efforts when he has forgotten his aim" ~ George Santayana

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget all his benefits-who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the Pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good." ~ Psalm 103: 2-5

Road Runner Theme Song lyrics:

If you're on the highway and Road Runner goes beep beep. 
Just step aside or you might end up in a heap. 
Road Runner, Road Runner runs on the road all day. 
Even the coyote can't make him change his ways. 

Road Runner, the coyote's after you. 
Road Runner, if he catches you you're through. 
Road Runner, the coyote's after you. 
Road Runner, if he catches you you're through. 

That coyote is really a crazy clown, 
When will he learn he can never mow him down? 
Poor little Road Runner never bothers anyone, 
Just runnin' down the road's his idea of having fun.
source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/roadrunnerlyrics.html

Food for thought: When life drops a heavy load on you (safe falls) SPLAT! Will you choose to be a Road Runner or a Coyote?

"O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me". ~ Psalm 30:2

I choose to be a Road Runner. I choose the healing. It may not be a complete physical healing, but God can and has brought spiritual and mental healing to me. He gives me the will to press on. "Whoa, Be Gone! " Beep Beep! Look out world here I come! Full speed ahead. "Going, Going, Gone!"

Wishing you a "Fast and Furry-ous" journey and reminding you to "Stop! Look! And Hasten!" in pursuit of God and the road to everlasting life 

Note: Blue items are actual Cartoon titles.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wile_E._Coyote_and_Road_Runner