Dealing With OMIF Syndrome

Those of use who suffer with any type of a disability (and many of those who do not) have at some point in our life come into contact with someone who suffers from OMIF (Open Mouth Insert Foot) Syndrome. 

An encounter with people inflicted with the OMIF  Syndrome often has more of an adverse affect on us than it does them.  The most detrimental side effect is that it is known to rapidly induce stress, raise the blood pressure and trigger the "Flight or Fight" response in us. It is highly recommended that you avoid  exposure to this injurious contaminate.  Within minutes of coming in contact with this negativity you must be prepared to flee from them or firmly plant your feet and stand your ground. The difficulty lies in being able to recognize these people prior to exposure. 

How to Recognize the OMIF Syndrome in others:

•  Hostile and Antagonistic - They usually turn conversations into an inquisition. It quickly becomes a severe questioning, or more of an investigation, conducted with very little regard for the individual rights of others.
•  Lacks Empathy - Displays a warped view or lack of understanding for the other persons condition or disability.
• Opinionated - Rapidly, and usually erroneously, makes their own diagnosis of another persons condition, or lack of one as they decide the case may be.
• Verbally Abusive- Insensitively states their own offensive opinion to the person with a chronic illness or a disability, and then goes about announcing their negative opinion of it to others behind your back knowing and not caring that it will get back to you.
• Lack of Compassion- Being blessed with good health they show a lack of compassion to others who have not been that fortunate.
• Judgmental- Feels they have the right to judge you and make statements on how you need to "snap out of it" because it's not real, it's just in all in your mind.

Just recently I had a personal encounter with a "friend" and simply by of the Grace of God (OK that and the knowledge that even as a Christian I could do jail time if I did physically "lay hands" on that person) I was able to kindly and calmly explain my personal health conditions and why it was necessary that I was and would continue to be under medical treatment for them. Which in all honesty, I must say it was really none of their business and actually quite rude of them to ask and demand an explaination. Seriously, does it make any sense that if the "Mind Over Matter" theory did work that I would have had to under go heart (pacemaker), knee and other surgery's? Do they truly believe that all Doctors could or would be talked into treating an imaginary affliction? I resent the implication of being construed as a hypochondriac. 

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked "Are you sure you're not just not depressed?" I would be a wealthy woman. Truth be told I AM depressed AFTER a conversation like this! Who wouldn't be? Besides, someone suffering from depression DOES NOT need to hear statements like this. It would be more appropriate to say "I've noticed you seem a little down today, is there anything I can do for you?" Or even "How can I help?"

If you have the misfortune of being afflicted with OMIF Syndrome allow me to take a few minutes of your time to offer you a few suggestions to aid in your own recovery:

• Speak kindness - If your words will cause pain to another, please refrain from voicing them. In the words of a wise rabbit named Thumper (in the Disney movie Bambi) "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." ~ Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law." ~ Galatians 5: 22-23 (NIV)

• Show compassion - Our lives are difficult enough, and the world is often harsh. We all need to have family and friends who are sympathetic, understanding and supportive. 

 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." ~ Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

• Chose your words wisely - Or as the saying goes "Always season your words with salt, for tomorrow you may have to eat them." Without adding seasoning or salt our food would be too bland and tasteless when consumed. Words do have the power to build up or tear down, to encourage or discourage, to help or to harm another person. How will your words be used?

 "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." ~ Colossians 4:6 (NIV)  

• Encourage and support others- Dealing with chronic pain, illness, or disabilities is discouraging as we struggle to work through our daily obstacles and stresses. Don't underestimate the value of even one encouraging word that is spoken, it may make a big impact on the one receiving it.

 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." ~ I Thessalonians 5:11  (NIV)

• Don't be judgmental - Why is it that we are so quick to assign labels and make judgement calls on others before we know them or their situation?

 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  ~ Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)

• Remember the Golden Rule:  Do unto others what you would want them to do unto you.  Picture yourself in the situation of that other person and then treat them the way you would want them to treat you.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." ~ Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

For several years I was an active member (and former President) of the Rotary Club in Grand Blanc, Michigan. At each meeting we would recite the Rotary motto called The Four Way Test.

The Four-Way Test of the things we think, say or do.

1st- Is it the truth?
2nd - Is it fair to all concerned?
3rd - Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
4th - Will it be beneficial to all concerned?


This creed is meant to be used as a code of ethics, and as a gage, or measure for us as we make our own personal decisions and choice of actions. To serve as a daily reminder for us to stop and think about how our words, actions, and even our reactions can help or harm another person. I've seen similar status messages posted on Facebook, and I am always reminded how fitting this is, if only we could all simply apply it to our personal, business and professional lives as well.

Today it seems as if society as a whole is more focused on the "me" and we forget about all  others. The daily niceties such has holding doors open for another to pass through first, saying please and thank you, and greeting others, even strangers, we encounter with a smile and a hello have been replaced with rudeness, obscene language and hand gestures as we shove others out of the way in order to get there first or faster. 

Our actions do speak louder than words. What are the lessons we are teaching our youth? For they are the future generation and will learn from our examples. 

 "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." ~ Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

So as I work daily on learning to be more intentional in showing kindness and tolerance, (especially to those with OMIF Syndrome) I ask that in return they learn to "Pay It Forward" and show the same kindness and tolerance to the rest of us. Because when you think about it all of us have some type of a disability. A disability is only what we have and not who we are!

Wishing you much kindness, open doors, warm greetings and big smiles, even from strangers, for they just might become future friends!

Blessings! :)