A Legacy of Strength and Dignity

I come from a long line of strong women. A legacy of love, faith, dignity and strength that has been handed down to each new generation of daughters. Women warriors, so to speak, who led by example.

There are no recorded documents,  books or how to manuals to reference their heroic journeys. These timeless lessons and truths imparted not by spoken words of wisdom only, but witnessed through their daily actions. Their experiences giving merit and authority to their words.

Are these family traits genetically related to our DNA, or simply learned behaviors? Personally, I believe it to be a combination of both. In the learning process  we watch, we see, we witness, we mimic, we aquire and use the teachings. The knowledge that was handed down wasn't just about the physical struggles and practical survival skills. There was also a spiritual heritage; a belief, trust in, loyalty to God. While many will mock the traditional doctrines of an individual's religion and them for having a firm belief in something or someone with a lack of supporting evidence or scientific proof, I believe it because I've witnessed it personally.

We were taught by example to stand firm in our faith in God. To trust in His wisdom, especially when we doubted our own. We then witnessed the impossible being made possible.

Life Lessons Learned:

Make and honor your commitments and allegiances wether it's to a person or a duty. Fidelity in relationships are vital. Keep your promises, this is a reflection of your true character.

Sincerity in our intentions. Follow through. Be trustworthy. Say what you mean and do as you say. This is your reputation.

Don't be overcome by difficulties. Seek a resolution to problems and a strive for a way to resolve them.

Focus on better days to come.  Plan for a the future, and not stop, to linger or wallow in the past. Let go, let God, and most importantly move on.

Learn not just from your own mistakes, but also from those of others. You don't have to personally experience or repeat them in order to learn from them.

Never give up, lose hope, or allow yourself to drown in despair. This too shall pass and you will be stronger because of it. Feelings of hopelessness often lead to inaction. This will get you nowhere. Loss the why bother mindset. Instead strive to be
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." -Romans 12:12 (NIV)

Sadness is contagious, but so is laughter and happiness. So remember to think happy thoughts and seek joy.
"Whatsoever things are true, whatever is noble,  whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is praiseworthy,  think on these things. " - Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Never let the enemy see your fear. Don't allow fears to cripple you or those around you. You are braver that you think you are.  Remember that the phrase "Fear not"  is stated in the Bible 365 times. That's one for each day!
"Fear not for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you in my righteous right hand. " -Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

Chant the mantra: " Yard by yard life is hard, inch by inch life's a cinch"  This is your reminder to do what you can. Tackle the big jobs and problems one step at a time until you get it done. Persevere, even if it's only a baby step, it's still a step forward.

Storms are scary, remember your lifeguard (Jesus) can walk on water. Always look for the rainbow, God's promises awaits. He can restore beauty out of the ashes.
"To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Hey will be called Oakes of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor. " - Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

When God closes a door it's for protection, when He opens a window it's for opportunity. Be patient and praise God in the hallway as you "wait upon the Lord".

Things could always be worse. Strive to make life a little easier for someone else. When we focus on others, it takes the focus off ourself and tends to put things into a clearer perspective. Ask yourself:  "would I really want to trade my troubles for their burdens?" Someone always has a harder struggle.

Encourage others. You know from first hand experience the pain, fear, and sufferings that come with hardship. Model endurance, exhibit and demonstrate faith, help, hope and healing.

Sometimes you have to "fake it until you make it. " Just take action. Engage in activity. It may be uncomfortable at first, but as you experience successes your confidence will grow.
"But he said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you,  for my power is made perfect in weakness' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's  power may rest on me." -2 Corinthians 12:9

You are stronger than you realize. Be like the Little Engine That Could; "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....and I did!"
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:13

All is not lost. Each day is a new chance for a "do over" to correct past mistakes. Tomorrow is another day, a chance for a new beginning and a fresh start. Failures do not have to be our final option,  but instead view it as a new opportunity.
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." -Lamentations 3:22-23

Wishing you strength for the day and joy in the journey.

Lost and alone

These past few weeks have had me on a storm watch. I feel in the depths of my soul the changes taking place. That instinct or gut alarm that goes off to alert us to be wary of our environment and watchful for signs of hidden dangers.

Outside the day looms dark, dreary and cold. My spirit mimics that gloomy sadness. A storm is coming. I don't know when, nor can I predict the intensity of the damage it may unfurl. I sense it hovering, but I don't have a clear line of vision. I feel helpless and unprepared.

Turning on the weather channel is useless. Even with all of the sophisticated equipment it can't predict, or monitor the internal storms of life. If only it were severe weather I could plan ahead. Stock up on groceries, make sure the flashlights have fresh batteries. Have the candles and matches standing ready for use and wood hauled in for the fireplace in case of a power outage. Confidence in being armed with an emergency plan, prepared and standing ready for active duty.

In life we can also prep and plan for future unknowns. A life insurance policy, homeowners insurance,  sufficient savings, a retirement fund and even a will to protect the interests of those we could leave behind.

Unfortunately life storms and grief are not so easily managed. They arrive as unwanted, uninvited guests with unpredictable timing. They show a lack of respect and have no regards to the pain, stress and inconvenience their presence places on their unsuspecting host.

The arrival brings changes and the fear that go hand in hand with the unknown. It unleashes a torrent of uncomfortable events and stirs up long buried emotions. Grief leaves me helpless and unsure of how to defend myself in this present storm.

I cry out for God to save me from the pain, yet knowing He often chooses to teach me life lessons forcing my dependence on Him to carry me through the stressful times in my life.

Lately I have been greatly missing my parents. Life changed so dramatically after my mom's death. Our family fractured and fell apart. Each one lost in their own grief.  To each of us she was our person, the glue that held our family together.  Mom was the only one that seemed to have the power to reign everyone in and bring us together as a family.

When my father was still alive my focus became centered on his care and nurturing. This was in addition to being a working, single mom trying to balance all the demands, while caring for my family too. Dad and my children kept me grounded and gave me a sense of purpose. Caring for others has always come easy for me. I was so busy juggling everything and taking care of everyone else that I didn't have time to grieve my own personal loss.

Three years later when my father passed away I wasn't prepared  for the scared, wounded little girl that surfaced. The lost, lonely, orphaned inner child who still cried out for her parents.  Unfortunately she remained neglected as life's demand didn't afford the time to nurture myself even if I had known how to.

Over the years I had learned to put the needs of others above my own. People depended on me for my strength and help, especially when they were in times of crisis. I often wondered if they were really that blind to my personal pain, or simply chose to ignored it because they didn't know how to help me. People literally fell like dominoes at any signs of my weakness, emotional needs or my loss of composure. I was expected and often forced to be the lifeline for others when I felt adrift at sea myself.

The grace of God and the strong faith that was instilled in me kept me from crumbling and falling apart at the seams.  God was my anchor and my personal lifeline.

Many times I would stop and reflect on how my mom would have handled the situation and use that as a pattern or guide. It often meant just going through the motions, the "fake it until you make it" approach.

Funny, how thirteen years after my mother's death that grief still rears it's ugly head. At times the pain and loneliness of that loss washes over me with such a brute force that once again I feel like I'm drowning in an emotional cesspool. Jesus Is my comfort, my strength in my weakness.  But oh how I still ache to be held in my mother's arms and comforted. To once more hear my mom reassure me that I'm not alone and that we'll get through this together.

I still yearn to spend time with her, to ask for her advise and hear her words of wisdom. But most importantly to feel the warmth of her touch and feel her love wash over me. I wrap myself in a blanket, close my eyes, try to picture her face and pretend it's the comfort of her hug, but it's never the same.

Here I am, a grown woman, a mother of adult children, and the thing I want the most is to have one more day spent with my mom and dad. To once more feel valued, treasured, safe and loved.

Instead, I'll wipe my tears, pray for strength and as my mom would stay "buck up and carry on". For among all of the values and life lessons she taught me, the greatest was how in difficult situations to stand up tall, hold my head up high, put on the full armor of God and to warrior on!

And so I will follow in her footsteps and continue on. Praying I touch as many lives in a loving and positive way and thus continue her legacy of faith, strength and love.

The Emotional Hazards of being a Caregiver

The emotional hazards of being a caregiver


"We all have our times machines. Some take us back, they are called memories. Some take us forward, they are called dreams." -Jeremy Irons

With the holidays comes the memories of my parents who are no longer here to share them.  I prefer to go to my earlier memories to remember my mother as the woman she was. The beautiful, vibrant, loving mother and devoted wife, not the stranger she became as Dementia stole that woman from me.

There are often times in each of our lives when we suffer through our deepest tragedies  in utter silence. Although our heart crys out in agony, words fail to be uttered that can convey the dept of that pain.

Others may see us in one of two ways, either as strong or as heartless. As I took on the role as my mother's caregiver I was accused of being both. The former accusation hurt me deeply and I constantly needed to remind myself that their words and opinions are a true reflection of their own hearts, not mine.

The grief process for my mother began for me as this disease took her from me. I learned we all grieve in our own unique ways and at our own pace. Grief can't be paused, or fast forwarded. More often it comes in slow, prolonged waves that catch us off guard. Often arriving at the most inconvenient times and it is no respecter of locations. It usually catches us unaware and when we are at our most volnerable stage.

Caring for a person with Alzeheimers and dementia is physically,  mentally and emotionally demanding. Feelings of helplessness,  anger, guilt, stress, discouragement,  worry, grief, loss and even feeling the social isolation are common. Caregiving can even take a toll on the caregivers personal health.

Recently I came across a journal entry I wrote during that time period and share it below to help you understand :

Our lives have fallen into a daily rhythm of routines and repetition, that's how we've dealt with this new "development " in my mother's health.

I'm in their home making dinner and am watching my parents. It's like seeing a movie in slow motion as it goes scene by scene.

Dad is sitting in his favorite orange recliner. The world news is playing on the television while dad reads the daily newspaper to my mother. Growing up this was a familiar ritual. I often wondered if my mother just tuned him out and was occupied with her own thougths.  I was often surprised when she'd comment on, or later recount something that daddy had read to her ealier.

Today as I watch mama stare blankly at the television I hear her singing the words to the Doris Day song "Que ser ra, ser ra, what ever will be will be, the futures not mine to see, que ser ra, ser ra".  It seems so fitting as mama is now in her own world, one I can't access due to the awfulness and cruelty of this heartless demon  monster called Alzeheimers.

Mama turns in my direction as if she is reading my thoughts. She throughly looks me over, smiles the sweetest smile. I think there's a glimpse of my mother. My heart soars, she's back!

Then she turns to daddy and asks him "which neighbor is that in our kitchen? " and I feel my heart shatter a little more. For their sake I fight back another round of tears. Putting on my mask of normalcy and my superwoman cape, I assume the role of mother to my mama child. It's the hardest role I've ever played in my life, and I fear it will be my undoing.

My mother, my mentor, my friend and confidant.  The woman I've loved, admired, looked up to, and the anchor that held our family together is gone. She has been replaced by a child-like stranger and that frightens me to the core.

I believe daddy, like my sisters, is in denial. They continue to function as if everything is still completely normal and no one speaks of the changes in his beloved wife.

I understand everyone copes differently, but I resent that I'm the one that deals with the sad realities of this life. I feel so lost and alone, and as silly as it sounds, I feel abandoned by my own mother. I want to shake my sisters into dealing with reality and lightening my load. I'm not sure how I won the role of the sacrificial lamb carrying the burdens alone, and am expected to solely care for our mother while easing everyone else of their share of the difficult responsibility.

Then daddy hugs me and says "You remind me so much of your mother. You have her looks, but also her heart. You and your mother are the only ones in my life who ever loved me unconditionally.  I don't know what would I do now without you."

Mama turns and looks in my direction. There is a clarity in her eyes that has been missing.  "Do you promise?" she asks me. Yes mama, I will keep my promise to take good care of your husband. Then just as quickly she's gone again.

This is one of those brief moments, a platform of time alloted to me to regain my balance, peace of mind and regain my composure before the next downward spiral. So I will strive to be like mama and become the anchor that holds us together through this storm.

Dealing With OMIF Syndrome

Those of use who suffer with any type of a disability (and many of those who do not) have at some point in our life come into contact with someone who suffers from OMIF (Open Mouth Insert Foot) Syndrome. 

An encounter with people inflicted with the OMIF  Syndrome often has more of an adverse affect on us than it does them.  The most detrimental side effect is that it is known to rapidly induce stress, raise the blood pressure and trigger the "Flight or Fight" response in us. It is highly recommended that you avoid  exposure to this injurious contaminate.  Within minutes of coming in contact with this negativity you must be prepared to flee from them or firmly plant your feet and stand your ground. The difficulty lies in being able to recognize these people prior to exposure. 

How to Recognize the OMIF Syndrome in others:

•  Hostile and Antagonistic - They usually turn conversations into an inquisition. It quickly becomes a severe questioning, or more of an investigation, conducted with very little regard for the individual rights of others.
•  Lacks Empathy - Displays a warped view or lack of understanding for the other persons condition or disability.
• Opinionated - Rapidly, and usually erroneously, makes their own diagnosis of another persons condition, or lack of one as they decide the case may be.
• Verbally Abusive- Insensitively states their own offensive opinion to the person with a chronic illness or a disability, and then goes about announcing their negative opinion of it to others behind your back knowing and not caring that it will get back to you.
• Lack of Compassion- Being blessed with good health they show a lack of compassion to others who have not been that fortunate.
• Judgmental- Feels they have the right to judge you and make statements on how you need to "snap out of it" because it's not real, it's just in all in your mind.

Just recently I had a personal encounter with a "friend" and simply by of the Grace of God (OK that and the knowledge that even as a Christian I could do jail time if I did physically "lay hands" on that person) I was able to kindly and calmly explain my personal health conditions and why it was necessary that I was and would continue to be under medical treatment for them. Which in all honesty, I must say it was really none of their business and actually quite rude of them to ask and demand an explaination. Seriously, does it make any sense that if the "Mind Over Matter" theory did work that I would have had to under go heart (pacemaker), knee and other surgery's? Do they truly believe that all Doctors could or would be talked into treating an imaginary affliction? I resent the implication of being construed as a hypochondriac. 

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked "Are you sure you're not just not depressed?" I would be a wealthy woman. Truth be told I AM depressed AFTER a conversation like this! Who wouldn't be? Besides, someone suffering from depression DOES NOT need to hear statements like this. It would be more appropriate to say "I've noticed you seem a little down today, is there anything I can do for you?" Or even "How can I help?"

If you have the misfortune of being afflicted with OMIF Syndrome allow me to take a few minutes of your time to offer you a few suggestions to aid in your own recovery:

• Speak kindness - If your words will cause pain to another, please refrain from voicing them. In the words of a wise rabbit named Thumper (in the Disney movie Bambi) "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." ~ Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law." ~ Galatians 5: 22-23 (NIV)

• Show compassion - Our lives are difficult enough, and the world is often harsh. We all need to have family and friends who are sympathetic, understanding and supportive. 

 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." ~ Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

• Chose your words wisely - Or as the saying goes "Always season your words with salt, for tomorrow you may have to eat them." Without adding seasoning or salt our food would be too bland and tasteless when consumed. Words do have the power to build up or tear down, to encourage or discourage, to help or to harm another person. How will your words be used?

 "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." ~ Colossians 4:6 (NIV)  

• Encourage and support others- Dealing with chronic pain, illness, or disabilities is discouraging as we struggle to work through our daily obstacles and stresses. Don't underestimate the value of even one encouraging word that is spoken, it may make a big impact on the one receiving it.

 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." ~ I Thessalonians 5:11  (NIV)

• Don't be judgmental - Why is it that we are so quick to assign labels and make judgement calls on others before we know them or their situation?

 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  ~ Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)

• Remember the Golden Rule:  Do unto others what you would want them to do unto you.  Picture yourself in the situation of that other person and then treat them the way you would want them to treat you.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." ~ Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

For several years I was an active member (and former President) of the Rotary Club in Grand Blanc, Michigan. At each meeting we would recite the Rotary motto called The Four Way Test.

The Four-Way Test of the things we think, say or do.

1st- Is it the truth?
2nd - Is it fair to all concerned?
3rd - Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
4th - Will it be beneficial to all concerned?


This creed is meant to be used as a code of ethics, and as a gage, or measure for us as we make our own personal decisions and choice of actions. To serve as a daily reminder for us to stop and think about how our words, actions, and even our reactions can help or harm another person. I've seen similar status messages posted on Facebook, and I am always reminded how fitting this is, if only we could all simply apply it to our personal, business and professional lives as well.

Today it seems as if society as a whole is more focused on the "me" and we forget about all  others. The daily niceties such has holding doors open for another to pass through first, saying please and thank you, and greeting others, even strangers, we encounter with a smile and a hello have been replaced with rudeness, obscene language and hand gestures as we shove others out of the way in order to get there first or faster. 

Our actions do speak louder than words. What are the lessons we are teaching our youth? For they are the future generation and will learn from our examples. 

 "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." ~ Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

So as I work daily on learning to be more intentional in showing kindness and tolerance, (especially to those with OMIF Syndrome) I ask that in return they learn to "Pay It Forward" and show the same kindness and tolerance to the rest of us. Because when you think about it all of us have some type of a disability. A disability is only what we have and not who we are!

Wishing you much kindness, open doors, warm greetings and big smiles, even from strangers, for they just might become future friends!

Blessings! :)

Once Upon A Mattress -Sleepless due to pain

In the 2005 Disney TV Movie "Once Upon A Mattress" (which is adapted from the Hans Christian Anderson story of the "Princess And The Pea") the Queen proposes a test to reveal if her son's intended is indeed a Princess. Not wanting her son to marry, the Queen places a pea under twenty mattresses to see if the so called Princess will be able to sleep. Princess Winifred has a sleepless night and complains of being black and blue, thus passing the test.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PL5D1DCB3874AD396C&v=MKNOMSbQUSE&NR=1&feature=endscreen

I may not be a real life Princess, but I have had more than my share of sleepless nights. For many of us who suffer with chronic pain our nights consist of tossing and turning and waking up feeling tired and black and blue. I have checked and I am happy to report that I did not find a pea under my mattress.

"People who suffer from chronic pain often find that their problems are compounded by the additional difficulties that come with insomnia and sleeping disorders. Of those who report experiencing chronic pain (about 15% of the general U.S. population and 50% of the elderly), approximately 65% report having sleep disorders, such as disrupted or non-restorative sleep.

The term "insomnia" includes all types of sleeping problems, such as difficulty falling asleep, staying sleep, and wakening earlier and more often than desired. Of all medical conditions, pain is the number one cause of insomnia."

Source:  http://www.spine-health.com/wellness/sleep/chronic-pain-and-insomnia-breaking-cycle
By: William W. Deardoff, PhD, ABPP


Think about your usual bed time ritual.  In getting ready for bed, it is common to try to eliminate all distractions in order to relax and begin to fall asleep. This includes quieting the room, closing the shades, turning off the lights, radio, cell phone or TV, and trying to get comfortable.

But for chronic pain sufferers these are the "pea" under the mattress, the very things that can cause us problems since the only thing left for the brain to focus on is the experience of pain. During the day (and the sleepless nights) these "distractions" are the primary pain management tools we use.  Which explains why you see me on-line or posting during the "wee" hours before dawn and catch me dozing off or napping during the day. I'm not depressed or lazy... I'm bone weary tired!

Because of the pain the quality of sleep is very light and un-refreshing. This "non-restorative" sleep pattern can and does cause lack of or diminished energy, fatigue, depressed moods, and worse pain during the day. It's a viscous cycle comparable to running in a hamster wheel burning off your all of your energy and yet not making any progress. (or losing any weight.)

Then there are the "Psychological" approaches which suggest the "mind over matter" aspect that can help to "override" or "re-balance" pain signals with more pleasant, sleep-inducing thoughts. A few of the techniques are:

• Hypnosis, which can help a patient associate certain actions with sleep such as turning off lights or closing doors and drapes. (You are getting sleepy, sleepy, nope I'm hungry. Guess it doesn't work for me)
• Visualization of something peaceful or relaxing, like clouds in a night sky, can be a good transition from the stressful day to a more restful nighttime. (I'm on a tropical beach, slathering on the sunscreen, did someone say shark?)
• Meditation or other relaxation practices that incorporate deep breathing and aim to free or compartmentalize feelings of stress in the body. (Breath in and out, in and out, in and out. Just my luck I ended up hyperventilating!)
• If worrying is a major deterrent to sleep, try “forced worrying”. Several hours before bedtime create a brief period of time (15 minutes or so) to write down worries. Then leave the room where you wrote down the worries, and if worrying recurs, remind yourself that you will have time to think about these worries tomorrow. (This one is not for me, I've learned to give all my worries to God. After all, He already knows the final outcome!)

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" ~ Luke 12:25 (NIV)

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  ~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I don't mean to discount any of the above techniques. Use what works best for you. Personally, I have found the most effective technique for me is Prayer. When we focus on praising God and praying for others it take our focus off ourselves and our pain. Besides Satan will use any means to divert our attention from God and this usually means I fall asleep...the only way to shut me up!

Those of us with chronic pain and illnesses suffer more than people see on the outside. Even as Christians we at times have lost hope, or faith. We need God help to hold us up during the daily struggles of life. 

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and to be with your forever- the Spirit in truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him or knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you."~ John 14:16-17 (NIV)

Jesus told us He would send us the Holy Spirit to be our counselor, our helper and our comforter. This is exactly what hurting people need - a counselor, a helper and a comforter.  We especially need wisdom and clarity of thought as we seek treatment and make medical decisions. He has the power to do what no person can do for themselves....bring healing miracles and cures and turn the impossibilities into possibilities!

Praying for your comfort, wisdom as you seek answers, hope for the future and healing miracles to turn your impossibilities into possibilities!

Blessings! :)

RESPECT - for those with disabilities

Arthea Franklin is well know for the song Respect. Come on and sing the lyrics: 

RESPECT
Find out what it means to me
RESPECT
Take care, T C B
Oh, a little respect
Yeah baby, I want a little respect
Now, I get tired, but I keep on trying'
Runnin' out of foolin', I ain't lyin'
Yes, respect all I need is respect

Source: http://www.metrolyrics.com/respect-lyrics-aretha-franklin.html 

We have all heard and sung the lyrics and maybe even related them to relationships we were in. I think we can all agree that every one of us wants and deserves respect; from our peers, our employers, even our families. But do we apply that same principle to others? Have we considered how that may relate to them? Especially those with chronic illness or pain, disabilities, hidden disabilities or those suffering from depression or mental illnesses.

For they are the ones that need the respect, encouragement and support the most! Often their friends, family and employers dismiss them, avoid them, or belittle them for being lazy, lying, being over dramatic or accuse them of being a hypochondriac.

For those suffering with chronic pain and illness we just assume they are suffering from depression and should just "snap out of it." Trust me, if you had to "walk a mile in their shoes" you would be depressed!

"Patients with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome have an exquisite understanding of the pain, both physical pain and emotional anguish, associated with having a poorly understood, incurable disease. "When you start hearing there is no hope, no treatment, and no cure over and over, you lose your will to fight," wrote Jan Murphy in a eulogy read at her funeral. "What most people saw of me was a shell of what was going on inside."

However, there is evidence that chronic pain and illness put patients at risk for suicide. An illness like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, which is often doubted or neglected by the medical community, the public, and sometimes family and friends, can present unique problems. Patients with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome can become victims of isolation and despair.

Secondary depression is a well-know symptom of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and is common with any type of chronic pain. Sufferers depend on a variety of sources of support, including pain management, psychological support, and financial support. When one of these essential needs remain unmet over a long periods of time, it is possible for patients to believe that their situation is hopeless.

Anyone who has suffered with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome knows that it requires a huge adjustment, not only to the illness itself but to all the consequences it has on our lives. Chronic illness is likely to affect the way sufferers live, the way they see themselves, and how they relate to others. With the present state of world events, many people are feeling additional tension, anxiety, or sadness. But suffering with severe depression may be unnecessary. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, it's essential that you know you don't have to go it alone. Suicide is preventable, and there are a variety of resources that can provide the support you need."

Source: http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/killing-me-softly-fmcfs-suicide By Lisa Lorden Myers 

I have been blessed with a great support unit of family & friends, as well as medical professionals who understand and continue to research new medicines and treatments to help to manage by health issues. I can relate to the loss of identity, isolation, limits to my activities and the financial strain that has been put on me and my family due to my chronic illness.

Often my friends, many who also share the same or similar health issues, and I have commented on how we never would be able to cope, deal with, and survive these issues without our deep abiding faith in God. It has given me a new awareness and compassion for others, as well as a deep empathy and respect for the struggles they are going through. 

Respect and understanding play a key role and can be a big factor in their daily struggle. If we each will reach out to one other person to help, encourage and support them what a miraculous affect and effective change we could make in their life, regardless of if that person was ill or healthy.

"How wonderful it is that nobody need to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." ~ Ann Frank

I challenge each and every one of you to take a closer look at those around you and make it your personal priority to respect, understand and encourage someone each day; especially those dealing with chronic illnesses. Just knowing that someone truly cares and respects them for what they are going through could make a world of difference to them. And please remember to uphold them in your prayers.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying (interceding) for all the Lord’s people." ~ Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)

To "intercede" means, "to stand in the gap on behalf of another." For example: when an attorney stands before a judge on behalf of a client, he is interceding, pleading and standing in the gap in defense of another person. This is one of the most powerful actions we can undertake for another is to "stand in the gap" for them!

Wishing you respect, good health and daily encouragement as you travel through life!

Blessings! :)

My Dog Gone Adventure

Grand-parenting isn't for sissies! When you have been entrusted with an overly active two year old for a weekend, he should come with the warning: THIS MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. Especially when you are a "grandparent" to your child's "Fur Baby" a German Shepard-Husky mix dog named Jax. (A.K.A. Houdini)

Those of you who know my daughter Katie and her friend Chris and have had the opportunity to meet or hear about the infamous Jax, you're acquainted with his rambunctious, curious nature that tends to get him into trouble. And just like human grandchildren, he tends to pull stuff with "Grama" that wouldn't be consider with his mommy in the house.  

Let me bring you up to date on a few of his past week's mischief:

• Ate a red velvet cake and greeted me at the door with the empty pan in his mouth and a happy "I cleaned my plate do I get a treat?" look on his face.
• Got into the Valentine's Day gift bags and ate a small box of chocolate candy, (box and all) a bag of yogurt covered pretzels, licked the bag of Gummy Bears (no chocolate so he didn't  bother opening it) and was working on getting into a package of Oreo cookies. (yes, he's a chocoholic)
• Devoured a plate of homemade chicken empanadas faster than you can say were's the sour cream.
• Stole a custard paczki. (pounchki) but was caught red handed (or should I saw red pawed) before he ate it.
• Hid a stash of pop-tarts (chocolate fudge) under the ottoman and behind the couch cushions. (yes, he can open the cupboard, and yes, we have put dog proof locks on them)
• Leapt our fence from a seated position to chase a squirrel in the neighbor's yard. 

Jax has terrible separation anxiety from his mommy and even knowing this, we were still caught off guard last weekend. When his mommy left, the entry door didn't close all the way. Hearing the garage door going down he used his nose to open the entry door wider, jumped on the screened door hard enough to pop it open and darted under the garage door just before it closed. 

By the time I put the door back up he was at the end of our driveway, in the road running full spend ahead chasing after their car. They didn't see him or me waving and yelling for that dog gone dog to come back here. 

Let the bad dogie games begin. I chased him, limping as fast as my bad knees allowed. He would stop and wait for me to catch up and just as soon as I reached him, he'd dart off again. I called Katie's cell and gave them the 411 and our GPS (Grama Pooch Situation) location as I continued to give chase. 

That naughty boy went 4 houses down, then ran in between my friends houses. I'm  sure it was just to embarrass me in front of my friends. Or maybe it was to ensure he had a bigger audience. He leisurely strolled along their backyard property lines while waiting for me to catch up. 

Right when I finally got close to him he noticed a section of privacy fence on the ground and darted into the yard. The house faces the next street and I do not know the owners. So here I am in the wet rain, tiptoeing over the downed fence section, fearful of falling or breaking through the wood. Then, of course the inedible happens...I slipped. I grabbed for the fence post while praying that it was more secure than the fence section was, and twisted my left leg and knee. 

Jax looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes and waited for me to limp over to him. I made the mistake of thinking he was taking pity on this Grama who was wheezing and in need of her asthma inhaler. As soon as my fingers were secure in his collar he jerked sideways taking me with him. Thank God I didn't fall completely to the ground. Instead I twisted and landed on the side of my right foot and felt intense pain.

Just then the Calvary arrived. They spotted us  coming down the side of the houses, retrieved him from me and headed back home. Jax was in "time out" on the ottoman and attached to a leash when I arrived. 

Jax slept the afternoon away while I iced and elevated my throbbing foot and knee. By Sunday morning I couldn't tolerate the pain any longer and drove myself to the Hospital ER.

The good news is that Jax is none the worst for wear. The bad news is that Grama is! A stress fracture to my right foot and a torn ligament in my left knee. I can't use crutches so I have a lopsided limp. (Weebles wrobble, but they don't fall down!)

Just let me go on record as saying that Jax and Grama did not have an excellent adventure!

Wishing your a safe journey through life!

Blessings! :)